You ever have one of those nights where your brain just won’t shut off?
Yeah, that was me last month—burned out from work, scrolling endlessly through my phone, way too wired to sleep, but too tired to do anything else. I’d just gotten out of a pretty rough relationship, and let’s just say, my mental health wasn’t winning. That’s when I stumbled onto something I never thought I’d actually try—a dick sucking machine.
At first, I laughed. I mean, really? A machine that mimics oral sex? But after reading a few reviews, seeing phrases like “life-like suction,” “realistic textures,” and “crazy powerful settings,” I figured what the hell—might as well give it a shot. Plus, I was curious... like, how far has pleasure tech really come?
Fast forward two days. A plain, discreet box showed up at my door. No weird labels, nothing that screamed “this guy just bought a blowjob machine online.” I appreciated that more than I thought I would. Privacy matters, man.
Setting it up was ridiculously easy. Some warm water, a bit of lube, and bam—it was go time.
No lie, that first use was wild. The suction? Insane. It actually felt like something real was happening down there. The best part? Total hands-free action. I just laid back and let the automatic penis sucking toy do its thing. I tried a few modes—slow and teasing, deep and rhythmic—and somewhere between mode 4 and 5, I swear I forgot about every email I didn’t reply to, every awkward Tinder date, and every meeting I had the next day.
The stress? Melted.
The loneliness? Muted.
The orgasm? Legit magical.
Now, I’m not saying a male masturbator that sucks will fix your life. But it helped me find a weird little pocket of peace in a chaotic world. No shame in needing something to take the edge off—and in my case, it was a damn machine that knows how to work a shaft.
Would I recommend it? Hell yeah. Whether you’re looking for a solo pleasure upgrade or just need to zone out and feel good, these modern-day blowjob simulators are next-level. And if you're like me, battling late-night stress or post-breakup blues, a little pleasure might just be the reset your body and brain need.
Trust me—don’t knock the cock sucking machine until you’ve tried it.
